In my experience, empathy has a neutral quality to it. Neutral, in that I am temporarily setting aside my own perspective to understand the perspective of another. As Frans de Waal points out in this video clip, though neutral by nature, empathy can be used in self-serving and even destructive ways. Watch this short clip from a conversation de Waal had this week with Carl Zimmer of Discover magazine:
Archive for the ‘Video’ category
The dark side of empathy, with Frans de Waal
January 31st, 2010Four Ways to Hear any Message
January 22nd, 2010Certified Nonviolent Communication Trainer Kelly Bryson demonstrates four possible ways to interpret any message, two of which impede empathy, while the other two facilitate empathy.
David Berreby Interviews Frans De Waal (VIDEO)
January 18th, 2010David Berreby, author of “Us and Them” interviews Frans De Waal, author of “The Age of Empathy” about empathy and morality. This is a webcam interview, courtesy of bloggingheads.tv
From TED- Ryan Lobo: Photographing the hidden story
December 27th, 2009Ryan Lobo has traveled the world, taking photographs that tell stories of unusual human lives. In this haunting talk, he reframes controversial subjects with empathy, so that we see the pain of a Liberian war criminal, the quiet strength of UN women peacekeepers and the perseverance of Delhi’s underappreciated firefighters.
Can You Teach Empathy to Children? A Reply
December 25th, 2009Almost every day, I watch the flow of Twitter tweets containing the words ”empathy” and “empathic.”
This morning I noticed many tweets and retweets containing ”Can You Teach Empathy to Children?” with a link to a New York Times article by Lisa Belkin, which referred to another article in the Huffington Post by Liane Kupferberg Carter entitled “Those Kids.”
I read with curiosity, hoping for more evidence of empathy infiltrating our culture, as I sometimes do these days in similar tweets. I read about a mother, sharing her pain, wanting her autistic son to be treated with respect, to be acknowledged and accepted as he is. Instead, he is treated as an after-school project by other students’ parents and ignored by peers. I read about a mother who deeply loves her son and wants him to have a fulfilling life as a member of a community, not as a tolerated object of community service.
I expected the story would have a happy ending as we Americans are so conditioned to do. Instead, I was just left with questions and no answers. Can You Teach Empathy to Children? It seems neither Liane nor Lisa can say, although I trust they truly and deeply want it to be true.
I find myself imagining Liane’s life in an affluent neighborhood, filled with privileged children. High school students, jockeying for position to gain entrance to America’s most prestigious Universities perform community service as a task much like homework– I have to do this to get what I want. I imagine parents encouraging their sons and daughters to do so, well-intentioned, thinking such activities will be good for them. I find myself wondering who is guiding this program and what their intention might be.
I don’t know. I’m just imagining all of this. But what I do know is that empathy and compassion are real and require gentle care and nurturing to grow within us. Empathy, like many skills is learned most deeply by example. Here’s an example of a teacher teaching empathy and compassion to his students. These kids aren’t preparing for college or even the next grade level, they are learning to listen and care for each other, how to be truly happy. I long for the day when we can allow and even welcome teachers like Toshiro Kanamori here in the United States of America. That is my Christmas wish for 2009.
Dominic Barter on Empathy (part 3)
December 20th, 2009This video is part of a larger documentary project by Edwin Rutsch on the nature of empathy. For more information, visit his website.
Dominic Barter on Empathy (part 2)
December 16th, 2009Dominic Barter has studied the interface between societal and personal change, and the role of conflict, since the 1980s. Since 2004 he has worked as consultant and training program director for the Brazilian Restorative Justice pilot projects, in collaboration with the UN Development Program, UNESCO, the Ministry of Justice, Ministry of Education and Special Secretariat for Human Rights. Dominic coordinates the Restorative Justice Project for the international Center for Nonviolent Communication.
