Posts Tagged ‘Exercises’

Empathy Exercises #2

October 3rd, 2011

Here’s an exercise in applying empathy while weighing my needs with the needs of my “significant other.”

Here's a hypothetical situation: Your significant other announces with glee he/she has installed new shelving in the kitchen wanting to show it to you, though you wanted to be the one to install the shelves. How can you best empathize in this situation without compromising your integrity?







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M. Scott Peck on Listening from Emptiness

October 13th, 2009

We cannot let another person into our hearts or minds unless we empty ourselves. We can truly listen to him or truly hear her only out of emptiness.
—M. Scott Peck

Editor’s Note: I find, sometimes, what Dr. Peck suggests is easier said than done. Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful to listen from emptiness:

  1. Am I waiting for my turn to say something? If my intention is to listen, let it go.
  2. Take a breath, breathe out my distractions and re- focus my attention.
  3. Ask myself,  Do I really want to listen? Be honest.
  4. Slow down and pay attention, scanning my field of awareness, what’s up in me? Can I let it go for a moment?
  5. Nurture curiosity. Trust that listening will take me somewhere interesting.

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Empathy Practice for Young People

October 2nd, 2009

I found this cute YouTube video about 3 components of empathy, intended for kids I think. The second suggestion, “Don’t interrupt” has some caveats in my experience. Kelly Bryson, author of Don’t Be Nice, Be Real, suggests we never listen to one more word than we really want to hear. In other words, if someone is babbling on about something and you really don’t want to be present for it, stop them. Try to connect with what’s alive in them behind their words. Maybe  something like “Excuse me, I’m losing you here. Could you tell me what’s important to you about telling me this long story?” Once you get an answer you may find more willingness to listen, and if not, maybe you can ask that they share their story with someone else. Though kids may sometimes feel too energetic to not interrupt, I think the “Don’t interrupt” suggestion is helpful for them, even if to just introduce the idea of temporarily setting aside our own needs to listen completely to another. M. Scott Peck calls this setting-aside process “bracketing.”

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A Brief Self-Empathy Exercise

August 2nd, 2009

Mary Mackenzie, Certified Nonviolent Communication(NVC) Trainer, co-founder of the NVC Academy, and author of  ”Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion“, leads a workshop in an exercise in self-empathy in the video below.

This deceptively simple exercise can demonstrate a remarkable difference in how we experience our lives by re-framing our inner dialogue in terms of our universal human needs instead of our judgments. Though the video quality isn’t what we’d like, we trust you’ll find the exercise helpful.

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