Professor Simon Baron Cohen presents a new way of understanding what it is that leads individuals down negative paths, and challenges all of us to consider replacing the idea of evil with the idea of empathy-erosion.
Posts Tagged ‘empathy’
Empathy, a Potent Healer
January 8th, 2012
Mary Mackenzie
I cannot say it enough. Most of us rarely feel truly heard and understood. Empathy, the simple act of hearing someone and focusing your attention on them, can be incredibly healing.
Try to listen for the feelings and needs behind someone’s words. This isn’t always easy, but the results are remarkable. Here’s an example. One of your kids says, “We never do what I want.” That might be hard to hear if you focus on the words he uses and if you think 90 percent of your life is focused on meeting his needs. Take a deep breath and listen for what they are; I’m guessing respect, and a say in decision making. You don’t have to agree with him, by the way. All you’re doing is trying to understand his view of things. You could respond with, “Are you frustrated and want more say in the family’s decision-making process?”
That’s it! Now, carry the conversation through by listening for his feelings and needs and expressing your own. The whole conversation might sound like this, “Yeah, you and Dad always get your own way.” “So, you think we’re only doing what we want without considering what you want?” “Yeah.” “I feel sad about this because I know I spend a lot of time considering your needs, and then often neglecting my own. I guess we both want the same thing, balance and respect. You and I would both like to know that the other one values our needs too. Do you agree with that?” “Yeah, I guess.” “Would you be willing to talk about what we are both hoping for tonight, and maybe brainstorm ways we can both get what we want?” “Okay.”
If we focus on the words, we often miss the point. Listen deeply to the needs the other person is trying convey. Once you understand each other, you will be ready to resolve the situation.
—Mary Mackenzie, Co-founder NVC Academy
The Limits of David Brooks’ “Limits of Empathy”
November 13th, 2011Here’s another critique of David Brooks recent NYT column on the limits of empathy, this one from Jason Marsh. I enjoyed his conclusion especially, worth a read…
Does empathy lead to altruism? The New York Times columnist gets it wrong.
Over the last few days, a lot of people have asked me about David Brooks’ Friday op-ed column in The New York Times on the “limits of empathy.” In it, Brooks argues that empathy is a “sideshow” to moral action. Considering the glut of recent books on empathy—such as Frans de Waal’s The Age of Empathy and Jeremy Rifkin’s The Empathic Civilization—Brooks writes that empathy “has become a way to experience delicious moral emotions without confronting the weaknesses in our nature that prevent us from actually acting upon them.”
Empathy, in other words, is little more than a fad.
Effective Communication Skills – Empathy Video
October 6th, 2011Effective communication skills modeled by Rick Goodfriend presenting in this empathy workshop clip in Ojai California
Empathy is the October Theme at the NVC Academy
October 5th, 2011The NVC Academy, the world’s first online school for Nonviolent Communication, is offering empathy related courses and resources in its NVC Multimedia library during the month of October.
Tomorrow, join relationship expert Kelly Bryson for a FREE teleourse entitled The Future of Love. Reimagine your perception of love so you can feel love more deeply, let love in and actually be love. Take this introductory session to determine if the full 6-week course is a good fit for you.

