Posts Tagged ‘NVC’

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Not Business as Usual: Empathy Enters the Workplace

January 4th, 2010

From Lynda Smith at BayNVC:

Paul Levy, director of Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, “is trying something revolutionary, radical, maybe even impossible: He is trying to convince the people who work for him that the E in CEO can sometimes stand for empathy.” 
— The Boston Globe

“”Empathy’ and ‘meaning’ are critical in developing effective products, staying globally competitive and overcoming everyday business challenges.” 
— Bea Boccalandro on the Center for Corporate Citizenship’s website

Two recent online headlines:

“British Prime Minister Draws the Connection Between Empathy and Growth”

“Best Buy Goes Green as CEO Dubs Self ‘Chief Listening Officer’”

What’s going on here? As the new decade dawns, are we witnessing the convergence of two seemingly opposite goals in organizational culture: competition and compassion?

Read more…

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Short Video on the Power of Empathy

November 25th, 2009

Nonviolent Communication Trainer Catherine Cadden shares her experience of using Empathy to make connection with a student in the Ku Klux Klan, and bridge the gap between him and the other students in the class.

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Empathy in Modern Medicine

November 23rd, 2009

Just posted at the Marin Independent Journal from Dr. Dustin Ballard, in “How to avoid a ‘hardened’ heart”, he writes:

I think you’ll agree that medical care today is truly amazing – most of the time. One area, however, where the system struggles is in the practice of empathy – the acknowledgment and understanding of a patient’s physical and emotional condition. It’s not that we don’t understand the benefits of empathy; on the contrary, evidence shows that patients with empathetic physicians are more satisfied and more compliant with their treatment regimens. Rather, it’s that empathy, in comparison with the nuts and bolts of diagnosis and treatment, is underappreciated and undernurtured.

Dr. Ballard mentions a study where primary care physicians are given “mindful communication” training resulting in a measurable increase in empathic response and then, sadly for me, concludes this type of program is limited in feasibility and results.  I would love to have read how Dr. Ballard reached that conclusion, since the quality and effectiveness of empathy training could easily be dependent upon who provides the training and what their approach and abilities might be.  Nonetheless, Dr. Ballard’s call for more empathy in the medical community and beyond inspires a lot of hope and gratitude in me.

Read the entire article…

For an in-depth look at the humanization of health care in general, I recommend Mel Sears book (Mel is both and empathy trainer and an RN):

Humanizing Health Care with Nonviolent Communication: A guide to revitalizing the Health Care Industry in America

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Mediation with empathy at its foundation

November 22nd, 2009

Imagine sitting in a room in one of three chairs. A second chair is filled by someone with whom you are in conflict. The third – by a person whose intention is to provide an empathic structure for what’s present in the room.

The third person creates a neutral space of openness. She listens attentively and open-heartedly to each person – one at a time. She acknowledges the universal feelings and needs they are expressing. She supports the growing connection between the two as understanding emerges and develops. She helps them open to new possibilities as they create solutions which take everyone’s needs into consideration. Her role is mediator – a Nonviolent Communication (NVC) mediator.

Read more & video too…

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Recognizing Empathy in Your Inner Experience

November 19th, 2009

What is empathy, really?  How do we experience empathy?

Nonviolent Communication Trainer Jori Manske talks about experiencing empathy and how to make it more accessible to us during a recent telecourse.

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Jori ManskeAbout Jori Manske

Jori is a CNVC Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and often works together with her husband Jim, committed for more than 30 years to cooperating together in the great adventure of life, openly and honestly sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings, and honoring and accepting each other with ever-increasing ability. Jori resides with Jim in Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA.

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Humanizing Health Care with Nonviolent Communication

November 6th, 2009

Book Review: Humanizing Health Care with Nonviolent Communication
The truth about health care: how hospital politics often prevents patients from getting the care they need.

Melanie Sears shares her insights as a nurse and a certified instructor of Nonviolent Communications as she gives a glimpse of what it’s like to work in a psychiatric hospital. There she experienced first-hand the pain and suffering of both patients and staff struggling within a system that makes compassionate care difficult to deliver. She also experienced the healing that’s possible when Nonviolent Communication is brought within a hospital’s walls.

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Listening Behind the Judgments

November 2nd, 2009

Have you ever felt ignored by someone? How did you feel? Hurt? Angry? Irritated?

Now consider this scenario. You are at a party, and someone you know walks by you without acknowledging you.  What emotions are you feeling? Here are some possibilities:

  1. Hurt. The person is a close friend.
  2. Happy. The person is someone you don’t like.
  3. Relieved. The person is your supervisor at work and you’d rather not talk.
  4. Surprised. This is the person who invited you.

It’s obvious that being ignored is an evaluation, and that the feelings that arise are dependent upon the context. In practicing empathy, I might use this kind of  information to connect more deeply with the person. So when someone says I feel ignored or that person ignored me, translating the four examples above might sound like:

  1. Are you feeling hurt because you’d like to be seen and acknowledged?
  2. Are you feeling happy he walked by because you’d rather spend your time talking to others?
  3. Are you feeling relieved because you’re wanting to enjoy your time off work and relax.
  4. Are you feeling surprised, wondering what’s going on with the person who invited you?

Feeling ignored is an example of a feeling word that’s actually a feeling mixed with a judgment or evaluation. In this case, we don’t know what the person at the party was thinking or feeling, nor can we even be sure that he even saw me. The only way to know is to check it out with him. So, actually what I’m feeling is related to what I think is going on. Though I may be correct, the emotional experience is generated by the story I’m telling myself.

The English language is replete with feeling words that are feelings mixed with thoughts or evaluations. Here are some examples:

  1. She disrespected me.
  2. I feel violated.
  3. My friends abandoned me.
  4. Don’t patronize me!
  5. I feel so overworked by him.
  6. I feel he manipulated me.

There are many more. So, when we hear those charged words, we can practice empathy by guessing at what the other person might be feeling and wanting at that moment, rather than agreeing with the embedded evaluation. By doing so, we can assist the other person to reach clarity and self-connection in a way he or she will likely appreciate very much.

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