Posts Tagged ‘understanding’

Empathizing with a Value System

June 10th, 2010

I found this post from Marc Stoiber, blogging at the Huffington Post interesting not so much because he mentioned empathy, but rather the means he suggests using a system of understanding human values called spiral dynamics, first uncovered by Clare Graves, former Professor of Psychology at Union College in Schenectady, N.Y. Stoiber writes:

These differing worldviews are usually a factor of:

1. Different values lenses – different shades of values people have, which give them different perspectives on a story.
2. Different filtering styles – individual means of screening information based on triggers and internal sorting mechanisms.
3. Degrees of social optimism – Ways of interpreting realities based on the optimism or pessimism of the viewer.

Renowned social psychologist Clare Graves was an innovator in this field, breaking down audience worldviews according to eight levels of evolving human behavior systems.

1. Autistic thinking. Traced back to 40,000 BC, this type of thinking was characterized by living in the moment, and feeling helpless before the terror of nature. A strong desire to live in tribal units for security helped mankind evolve beyond this behavior.
2. Tribal thinking. Post 40,000 BC. Civilization was tribal, and suffocated by tribal rules. The chief factor contributing to the demise of this behavior system was the desire to break free and set out on journeys of self-determination.
3. Heroic thinking. 8000 BC. A behavior system favored by early conquerors like Atilla, Genghis – but very much alive today in dictators and gang lords. This form of thinking favors taking what one wants, creating empire, and domination. Clearly not a form of thinking for the meek, it was largely supplanted by the search for deeper meaning and a true, spiritual leader.
4. Absolutistic thinking. 4000 BC. A backlash against heroic thinking, absolutism favored the clarity and discipline of rigid morality. Honor, self-sacrifice, a fear of contradiction and a strict code of behavior characterize this behavior system. Today, absolutism is personified in conservative thinkers….

I’ve found spiral dynamics a great inroad to empathizing especially with people whose value systems appear to differ from my own.  One note of caution: I’ve noticed the temptation to pigeonhole people into these categories when in fact these memes are tendencies we possess rather than hard categories we act upon.

Read more…

Dominic Barter on Empathy (part 1)

December 14th, 2009

Dominic Barter has studied the interface between societal and personal change, and the role of conflict, since the 1980s. Since 2004 he has worked as consultant and training program director for the Brazilian Restorative Justice pilot projects, in collaboration with the UN Development Program, UNESCO, the Ministry of Justice, Ministry of Education and Special Secretariat for Human Rights. Dominic coordinates the Restorative Justice Project for the international Center for Nonviolent Communication.

Albert Einstein on Peace

September 30th, 2009

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”
—Albert Einstein

Editor’s Note:  One look at Afghanistan, and it’s clear that Einstein had a point. Peace cannot be kept by force. The more difficult to trust statement is the second one. Achieving peace through understanding requires trust in human nature, it requires openness and vulnerability, it requires empathy– the willingess to listen deeply to another.  The way of peace is largely untested on a national level, those of us who use it daily on a personal level know it can succeed.

Robert McCloskey on Understanding

September 16th, 2009

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
—Robert McCloskey, American Author and Illustrator

Editor’s Note:  This quote illustrates how difficult it can be for two people to understand each other. The process of making observations and verifying understanding is at the heart of a process called Nonviolent Communication.

Po Bronson on Listening

September 10th, 2009

“As I get older, I’ve learned to listen to people rather than accuse them of things.”
—Po Bronson, American Journalist, quoted in Publishers Weekly

Editor’s Note:  This quote illustrates an important benefit of empathy. Empathy helps us avoid blame and hostility by understanding the speaker before we believe and act on our assumptions.

A Christian walks in the shoes of secular students in a Christian setting

August 22nd, 2009

One way of understanding another is to put yourself in their shoes.  Recently Aaron Gardner, author of the blog A Great Work did just that, when he covertly joined the Secular Student Alliance’s visit to the Creation Museum in Kentucky.

Here’s a link to Gardner’s blog post: Scarlet ‘A’ for a Day
Here’s an article written from a secular perspective by examiner.com’s Paul Fidalgo about Gardner’s experience:  A Christian finds empathy among the atheists

Editor’s Note: I enjoyed Gardner’s transparency, I hope the operators of the Creation Museum read his post, it might be eye-opening for them. I’d be happy to post a response from the Creation Museum.

What is Empathy? An Audio Introduction

August 20th, 2009

Join Jori Mankse for a brief exploration of empathy, what empathy is, and what it isn’t.

The second in a series of FREE telecourses happens today at 4:00PM PDT.

More info & registration here.

Click the arrow to play:

Jori Manske

About Jori Manske

Jori is a CNVC Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and often works together with her husband Jim, committed for more than 30 years to cooperating together in the great adventure of life, openly and honestly sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings, and honoring and accepting each other with ever-increasing ability.  Jori resides with Jim in Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA.